A mother's "plans"

Today I was reading “Little Women” by Lousia May Alcott to my mother and youngest sister Mary. The “Little Women” trilogy is the reading assignment for this months meeting of the Princess Academy. As I was reading there were many amazing quotes that stood out to me…however there was one passage in particular that I felt as if it was written just for me. It is in chapter 9 entitled “Meg goes to Vanity Fair”.

At the very end of the chapter Meg confides to her mother and sister Jo, what happened when she was visiting her wealthy friend; how she got so caught up in that world, and in the end reveled in dressing and acting like those around her; even though it wasn’t proper. During her stay Meg had overheard someone say that her mother sure had “Plans” for her daughters. Meg asked her mother if this was true and this is what her mother replied:

"Yes, my dear, I have a great many, all mothers do…. I will tell you some of them, for the time has come when a word may set this romantic little head and heart of yours right, on a very serious subject... I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good. To be admired, loved, and respected. To have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives, with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send. To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman, and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience. It is natural to think of it, Meg, right to hope and wait for it, and wise to prepare for it, so that when the happy time comes, you may feel ready for the duties and worthy of the joy. My dear girls, I am ambitious for you, but not to have you make a dash in the world, marry rich men merely because they are rich, or have splendid houses, which are not homes because love is wanting. Money is a needful and precious thing, and when well used, a noble thing, but I never want you to think it is the first or only prize to strive for. I'd rather see you poor men's wives, if you were happy, beloved, contented, than queens on thrones, without self-respect and peace… Some of the best and most honored women I know were poor girls, but so love-worthy that they were not allowed to be old maids. Leave these things to time. Make this home happy, so that you may be fit for homes of your own, if they are offered you, and contented here if they are not. One thing remember, my girls. Mother is always ready to be your confidant, Father to be your friend, and both of us hope and trust that our daughters, whether married or single, will be the pride and comfort of our lives."

I have taken this advice to heart as if my own mother had spoken those words. I pray that I may live up to them.

Quotes

“Whatever the era, whatever the times, one thing will never change: Fathers and Mothers, if you have children, they must come first. You must read to your children, you must hug your children and you must love your children. Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House, but on what happens in your house.” ~Barbara Bush

Hadassah: the woman who later became Queen Esther

Far more powerful and enchanting, to me, than any fairy tale, is the simple, yet epic story of a young Benjaminite, who grew up amidst the turmoil and temptation of the most powerful civilization of her time, the kingdom Persia. You may have heard of this great woman. Though her name was Hadassah, she later became known as, none other than, Queen Esther. We honor her as the woman who risked her very life to save her people from certain death. Yet, is it just that one deed that we should study about and honor her for; or is there more to her story? I would tell the world that her story does, in fact, go beyond that small, yet, an important moment that is so often spoken of. There is much we can learn from this most noble woman …

Esther or Hadassah was a daughter of the House of Israel, an ancient and covenant people of the Lord. More than a hundred years before her birth, Hadassah's people, due to their great wickedness, had been carried into captivity, by the Babylonians. The Babylonians were later conquered by the even greater civilization if Persia. Now, many years later her people were allowed to return to their homeland. However, many chose to stay in this foreign land (for it had become their new home). This choice to stay angered many people, some in very high places of power and authority.

And now we come to Hadassah's story. When she was still young both of her parents died. Yet, even during (through) this tragedy, Hadassah was blessed. She was taken in by her older cousin Mordecai, who raised her as if she was his own daughter. Mordecai was a very faithful man of God. Under his guidance, Hadassah grew in wisdom, beauty, and faith. She was taught to believe in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to be a covenant daughter of God. She was taught that if she remained true and faithful, then she could, at any time, call upon her God, and know that not only would her prayer be heard, but that it would be answered, as well.

Then, an event occurred that would change her life forever. Vashti, the then queen of Persia, had somehow displeased her husband, and had been put aside. Now the King of Persia, the mightiest civilization of their time, was in want of a new wife. All the fair young maidens were taken by order to the palace harem. Due to her beauty, Esther was sure to be taken. However, before she went, Mordecai changed Hadassah's name to Esther and made her promise not to reveal her heritage to anyone. I have often wondered how she managed to keep her covenants without revealing her identity. Yet somehow she managed. Even more so, she found grace in the sight of the King. Out of all who had been brought to the palace, Esther was crowned the next Queen.

Now, some might think to end Esther's story there. After all, have we not heard aplenty, the story of a commoner finding favor with a prince or king and being crowned the next queen? Do not all those stories end with, “and they lived happily ever after."? This was not the case with Esther's story. If anything, her life became even more difficult. With one misstep she could displease her husband and be stripped of her crown and banished like Queen Vashti before her. She could not appear before her husband, without his summoning her to his presence first; for the penalty of doing so was death. And on top of all this we cannot forget who she was; Esther was a covenant daughter of Israel who was now married to an unbeliever who was also a king with great power. Now, more then ever, she had to keep who she was a secret, even from the man to whom she was given in marriage. I wonder how isolated her life became due to this secret, and what weight she had to bear in silence.

Yet, she trusted in the Lord. Though she did not know the reason why, this must be her lot in life, she trusted that He did. Not long after her marriage, because of a warning from her dear Mordecai, Esther was able to save the life of her husband. Her life would surely change now for the better? After all she had saved the king's life, and he must have been grateful. If that is what you think, then unfortunately you are wrong. The king quickly forgot and life went on as before.

And then it happened. The King, her own husband sent a decree throughout all the land declaring that on a certain day all the Jews (Esther's people) would be put to death. How would you have felt if you were Esther, at that moment, knowing that soon all of your people; men, women, and children, were going to die, and there was nothing you could do to stop it? Even though you were Queen, you held no power. And again how would you feel, if, like she, you were sent a message, from the one person you loved and trusted the most in the world, the one who had raised you, telling you that your people's lives, were in your hands, and that you needed to go before the king to stop this tragedy? Would you have sought to forever hide who you were, in order to save your life, when everyone else would die? Or would you have sent word back reminding Mordecai like Esther did; reminding him of your position, of your helplessness to do anything; for it is death to go before the king un-summoned?

And how would you have felt to have this told you in response, "…Esther, Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king's house, more than all the Jews. For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"
(Esther 4:13-14)

At those words Esther knew what must be done. She also remembered the things she had been taught in her youth that if she remained worthy (which she had) that she could call upon God who would hear and answer her prayer. So, she sent word one last time unto Mordecai to have all the Jews join with her and her maidens in fasting and prayer for three days, at which time, she would go before the king, un-summoned though she was saying to them, "…and if I perish, I perish." (Esther 4:16)

For three days, Esther joined with her people in prayer and fasting. She prayed not for her life, but that of her people. She must have prayed for wisdom to know what to say and do. And that when all was said and done, that the heart of her husband would be softened, and the lives of her people spared. When the three days were completed, she went before the king, knowing that she could die, but also knowing that whatever happened, the Lord was with her, and that. He would deliver her people.

The Lord did hear, and answer that prayer. Esther was inspired in how to approach her king, her husband. She became an instrument in His hands. She watched as her husband's heart was softened. Her life was spared, and people were saved. Esther had discovered her purpose and with that she was released from her secret and could live for the world to see as a true daughter of Israel.

So yes, Hadassah became known to the world as Esther Queen of Persia. Yet, I cannot help, but wonder, if more precious to her, than the title of Queen, was the title of Daughter of Israel and Daughter of God.

Update on Book...

After much consideration, and in effort to get these vignettes to you sooner rather then later, I have decided to publish them in small volumes of 12 vignettes per volume. There will be two vignettes per each of the sections before mentioned. This will give a variety of vignettes for those who are using them for their Princess Academy Liber Teas, as well as for those who just want them as a resource. I plan to have the first volume available before the end of the year (hopefully by mid November if not sooner.).

P.S. I will still be posting some of the vignettes on line (Ester will be up in the next few days.) And I will also be recording some of the vignettes live to put on CD for those who prefer the audio format.

The effect that the focus in our education has in our lives...

I have been researching the life of Martha Washington again today, and have come across a question, a mindset, and a problem that has concerned me for some time now. It is namely this…

Historians would claim that women of old were suppressed. They were denied a formal education consisting of higher math, science, reading and writing…; an education that would free them to reach higher and make a greater difference working out in the world. Instead they were merely taught the social, and domestic arts; how to manage a home, and raise a family; learning that is said to have kept women in their subservient place. Which lack of true education kept them back from obtaining their full potential.

And yet looking back on the lives of those women, despite the alleged lack of formal education, and the homebound focus in what they were taught; I see women who were happy. Women who had great influence on the world through what they did in their homes. I see women who knew and were firm in their identity, and sure in their roles. I see women who were strong, yet most definitely feminine. And I see women who were revered and respected by the men and children in their life.

Today we have just the opposite in focus and education, and what is the outcome? We have women who though seemingly successful in the corporate and political world, don’t know how to be women. They have lost their identity; they have lost their femininity; and have found that they are only capable of being either objects to the men in their lives, or competition. Lost is the natural role of sisterhood, wifehood, and motherhood. Thus so many women go though life feeling unfulfilled. They often claim feeling like a part of them is lost, or missing.

I ask the question, which of the women are freer to embrace who they were created to be? Which has more influence and power to invoke real and lasting change? Which of the women are more fulfilled? Which of the women are able to feel more peace and happiness? If you are honest with your answers then you will find that it is the former and not the latter as the world would have you think.

So does that mean that as women of today, we need to stop gaining a formal education and go back to how it was before? No! Progress is a forward thing. However we can learn from the past, and reinstitute those lost arts domestic and social into the forefront of our lives. We can refocus and put things back in their proper priority, and perspective. This is easier said then done, I know. Yet it is possible and in fact necessary if we are to stop this destructive pattern we have fallen into as a society. For I ask in closing: Can men truly be men, when women are not being women?

Quotes

"Great necessities call out great virtues."

~Abigail Adams

The Book

As many of you know, for the last few months I have been working on a book entitled. “Women of Virtue”. It is a book of short vignettes to introduce women through history. Each vignette starts with some brief historical background and biographical information, then goes on to tell a few stories that I hope both inspire the you to want to learn more, but also gives a frame work to keep I mind as you do so. For as I have written before, none of these ladies is perfect. The more you study about anyone, the more that becomes apparent. The thing to do is to have something to hold on to as you study that keeps their life in focus; something that revels who they really are, and why we wanted to study more. Then as you encounter the not so wonderful parts, you can learn from it, and move on.

However important this project is to me, I have found myself putting it on the back burner this summer as I have jumped in to aid my family. Life has finally settled back down, and I shall begin work on my book once more. It will still be slow going however due to the nature of the project. For not only am I writing these vignettes; but I am also compiling a list of sources for the reader to turn to in their quest to learn more. I am open to any requests or suggestions of women to write about. The sections will be: Rulers and Consorts, Humanitarians & Warriors, Women of Words: Authors, Educators, and Social Reformers, Artists, Musicians, Mathematicians, and Scientists, The Every Day Woman (Women who had an influence through their roles as mothers, sisters, and daughters…), and last but not least… Biblical, Mythological, and Literary Archetypes.

If you do have any requests, or suggestions, of either the women to include or good sources then please e-mail me at sistergoff@gmail.com . For those who have been long awaiting this books completion, I will seek to finish it as soon as possible. Thank you for your Patience.